Christmas 2010 I received a very thoughtful, very long,
hand-written letter from my best friend. At 9 pages front and back, and given
to me about a week before I left for college, she gave me an amazing piece of
advice, “you are not Superwoman, don’t try to be.”
Two and a half years later, I am learning the significance
of her admonition. I have now been enrolled in 8 consecutive semesters,
maintaining a minimum of 16 credit hours for 7 of them, and being employed,
(both paid and unpaid positions), for 5 of those terms. During this time, I
have also been on 51 first dates, been in 3 serious relationships, and made the
best friends I’ve ever had. Sounds busy, huh? There’s more.
I am a dance minor,
and have participated in 3, invitation only works of choreography, which I
don’t get credit for and don’t get paid to be in. They take a minimum of 2
hours of rehearsal a week. For credit, I’ve been on a team called Dance
Alliance for 4 semesters, which rehearses between 6-8 hours a week regularly,
though sometimes we can rehearse in upwards of 20 hours a week. We also travel, sometimes during the school
week. Just like your favorite infomercial I can say, “But wait, there’s more!”
Just over a year ago my parents began the divorce process. As
if trying to work through and understand my thoughts and feelings about it wasn’t
challenging enough, I broke my foot about a month later. I was taking 20 credit
hours at the time and working 10-15 hours a week.
I pushed through it. Just like I push through everything
else.
I tried to be Superwoman.
I don’t claim to be wise. I don’t claim to know all of the
answers. But one thing that I’ve realized is that the key to happiness is
recognizing that you are human.
That’s right.
I am human.
And I struggle with human emotions and human problems.
I get frustrated. I get hurt. I get angry. I cry. I get
jealous. I make stupid mistakes. I. Am. Human
It’s okay to feel frustrated. It’s okay to be hurt. Making
mistakes is part of life, an area that I am particularly proficient at. It’s by
reminding myself that I’m not perfect, and that I won’t be overnight, that I have
been able to not only accept myself, but also accept others. I am realizing
that I can’t measure someone by a standard which I myself cannot, or have not,
achieved.
Don’t tell my dad, but I think it’s okay, healthy even, to
skip a homework assignment every once and a while. I dropped a class for the
first time in my life. Most liberating
feeling, ever. Sometimes you have to take a moment for yourself. The “me”
moments. Sometimes it’s being silly. Sometimes it’s crying. Sometimes it’s
treating yourself to a mani/pedi. (Which I want like crazy right now). Sometimes it’s giving into those moments when
you just don’t want to do anything.
The fact of the matter is. I don’t want to do homework. Which is why I wrote this blog.
